Your boyfriend won't suspect a thing.

Sure, you throw dinner at the TV when Captain America does the talk show circuit, and whisper -- quietly and unconsciously -- "hail Hydra" while tossing in your sleep, but this isn't unusual behavior.

Nope, not at all.

Unfortunately, your boyfriend discovered the secret room beneath the dishwasher -- it's stuffed with blinking computers, a Cap poster littered with throwing knives, a bug-green uniform, and the less ostentatious Hydra Symbol on Black Women's T-Shirt.

Made from 100% cotton, this black, HYDRA-focused t-shirt for women features the bold and very, very red HYDRA symbol in all its Democracy-disparaging glory.

Yes, this soft HYDRA t-shirt is perfect for wearing after a hard day at the office -- with a glass of wine, blaring classical music, and the muffled moans of your foolishly curious, gagged and hog-tied significant other.