Because the rabbit's foot just isn't cutting it.

Ever since you bought that gnarled, excessively dyed rabbit's foot from that antiques dealer in a condemned shopping mall, your luck went from bad to worse.

And this is unfortunate, considering your cleft chin, your arthritic knees, and a water heater that kicks on for 15 minutes every seventeen months.

But then you happened upon a moderately talkative bit of tree bark -- space bark, specifically, that traveled millions of light years to grace lesser beings with copious amounts of moral support.

Yes, our Lucky Groot Tree Bark is a fleck of sentient, helpful, and utterly supportive tree-person that is always (and forever) cheering for your success.

And yes, its muffled cheers are simply the same word spouted over and over, but the connotation here is key -- "Groot" can mean anything from "You are special" to "I think your weight is becoming an issue."

APRIL FOOLZ!

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