I woke up this morning with an intense craving for wild bird eggs. I went on an expedition into the woods and found quite a few delectable eggs. Little did I know what type of fury I aroused. Now, untold legions of birds pound my shoddily constructed fortress. I know it is only a matter of time before they get me or my house comes crashing down. Seriously, I never knew! I thought I was doing the right thing in the morning by getting protein. They say it is the most important meal of the day! It probably wasn't helping that I wore this 100% cotton Angry Birds Pig Face T-Shirt. I feel like my attackers have some kind of special hatred reserved for me. At least I'll go out in style!