The Speed Racer Movie - The Mach 5!
Alright, this is my first attempt at bloggin’. I’ve never done it before, but I thought I’d start off with some cool pics of the up and coming Speed Racer movie’s Mach 5 car and Batman’s cycle. These beauties were at the Vegas Magic apparel convention where all the new manufacturers come out with their new fresh styles. So, not only were there thousands of incredibly beautiful women with phenomenal bodies and spikey high heel shoes, there was also … the Mach 5! Every guy’s dream car.
This car is SUCH a hot friggen car! To the untrained eye, it would look exactly like Speed’s Mach5 with it’s pointy tri-prong front end, the curved windshield and bulbous raised wheel wells and chrome bottle neck type mags. Just a sexy beast.
But, alas, it’s not exactly like the real Mach 5, you know… the one based in reality, in the cartoons? But, it’s darn close enough.
Luckily, I had one of the local hottie models take these pics of the car since I had stupidly forgotten my camera at home. And with all the lovely women there in Vegas. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
The Speed Racer movie will be out in theatres May 2008!
Batman Movie The Dark Knight! - The Batcycle.
The next hot beast is the Batcycle! This baby was wayy cool. It looks like it came straight out of one of the second Aliens movie, something that one of the Colonial Marines would be riding while saying, “ef it man! Put her in charge. I’m outa here!”
I’m not a tech guy or grease monkey cyclist, but I do know what I like. This bad boy comes with some massive flippen tires that look like they were stollen off a HummVee. The drive looks like a crankshaft, but I could be wrong… I am generally wrong… most of the time. The front tire is mounted with a left fork mount and those weird gauntlet type things, that are weirdly reminescent of an Alien’s dome, cover the outside of the Dark Knights forearms while he steers.
Some problems here are that… if Bruce buddy doesn’t have some sort of ferring or shield, he’ll be eating gravel and dog poop that’s kicked up from the front tire. Think I’m wrong… you ride this bad boy out in a dog park and see what you’re picking out of your teeth all day.
The front forks look like they have some sort of “machine gun” mounts… which is stupid! See, this is why I hate movie directors for superhero movies. They continuously make stuff up that shouldn’t be there. Batman’s parents were killed by a gun, he hates guns! End of conversation… except for you uber-geeks who read year two where he fights that one idiot in the red skull suit and huge ass sickles… and he uses guns that time, but that’s about it. Come on people! Stick to the script! It’s already written for you, why do you have to go and deviate?? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
See, here you can see the gun barrels on the fork. Aside from deviating from the original story to the point of just being stupid, technically, this creates another problem since how often does a baddy end up right in front of the forks so you can shoot him? And where’s the targeting system? Come on people.. this isn’t Vietnam where Batman is just going to throw tons of lead in the air hoping that it’ll hit some mobster or henchman. Also, if you take a look at the rear tire, it’s a death trap waiting to happen to any cape wearing hero. Seriously. What do you think will happen the second Batman takes off from a dead stop? His cape is casually laying on the rear tire, the bike goes forward, the tire turns, the cape moves with it, and it becomes wedged between the tire and that funky superfork, snapping Batman back, and slamming him against the rear tire itself. Do you know how much kevlar/nomex/electocurrent capes run these days? Not cheap!
Bad, bad bad! An awesome looking machine even if it’s not historically or technically toeing the line.
Batman The Dark Knight Movie opens July 2008!
